April 2010
1 post
1 tag
I should have done more. I should have been there more. When he was dying I was in bed with my boyfriend. I hate myself for letting him suffer. I’m sorry I was a horrible person
I’m sorry
February 2010
1 post
What to do, what to do!
Ahhhhhhh! I need some advice tumblr. I really like this guy, but I’m not ready for anything serious and I think he has already got it in his head that we are a “couple”. His housemate called him “my boy” and I said I don’t think so and SHE said I think he is. OMG I’m freaking out hardcore.
Do I tell him that I don’t want a...
January 2010
4 posts
OMFG I’m so stupid
Have you ever felt really stupid because you wanted someone who but know it would never work but want to try it anyway? Well that’s how I’m feeling right now. I don’t know if it’s just a rebound thing or whether it’s really what I want. And it’s like I’m wanting to prove to him and me that it would work, just for the sake of wanting to prove it. Now how...
I am getting attached. I can’t help it. I’m going to miss him so much.
Why is it that everybody has to be so different? It makes me think I’ll never find my one. My soulmate. Why does God make us choose the wrong person so many times until we find the right one? I don’t want to be 35 and trolling Internet dating sites trying to find someone with something in common with me. I just want someone who wants me for me and who doesn’t want to change me....
December 2009
11 posts
Being wrecked
I don’t know what to say. I’m tired, sad, embarrassed, humiliated and just plain wrecked. Sitting here in this uncomfortable silence makes me want to scream and cry. But I needed to come back, I couldn’t over stay my welcome and after two days I’m already sick of living out of a duffel bag and I want to sleep in my bed. But he won’t talk to me, he won’t say...
The joy of having nothing
I think I can pin point when my life went to shit for the very first time. I was 11 years old in year 5 and no one in my own year level wanted to play with me, so I made friends with the girls younger than me. But that is when the teasing started and it never ended. Every time something bad or in this case shit happens in my life it is always followed by AT LEAST two other shit things. And my...
September 2009
4 posts
The secret thoughts of the untaken
So in the past few days I have lost my taken one and been the victim of some horrible stomach illness that is making the rounds. Not a very nice week. So in loosing choosing to loose my boy (mutual) it has given me a better perspective of the world. I am my one person now, free to make my own mistakes and I don’t have to care what anyone thinks. I love the fact that I can wear what I want...
RAMONA WAS A WAITRESS - Paul Dempsey
typing letters to the dead
late at night on a closed piano lid
she circles past, she fills your glass
but she don’t recognize the song
once in a lifetime she says
the waking life stitched together in your head
well, what if it’s only worth
the bundle of nerves it’s written on?
and i don’t need these arms anymore
i don’t...
The secret thoughts of the taken
I lay awake at night and wonder what it would be like if things were different. If I didn’t live here and I wasn’t this person. I wonder what it would feel like to touch him again, to feel his smooth face against my neck. For him to grab my hair in passion and want me, to really want me. To be carefree and dance the night away and then have him take me in his arms and touch my skin so...